“Love at first sight” and other stories…


Love at first sight, undying passion, unbridled, unquestioning love. How do some people know when they buy a car, chose a job, chose a life partner within moments of introduction, they know that it is the right choice for eternity?

Like the downstairs uncle (sic) wanton noodle shop, delicious only 4 days out of 6. Passion is not consistent.

Much the same as the stock market, a person’s love for something rises and falls with external influence. Maybe you have an interest in cars. Maybe you suddenly have a “passion” for learning how to do photography. Perhaps something inspired you to learn how to paint. Or just maybe you met someone at the library and suddenly you feel you’ve met “the one”.

The human mind is very good at convincing you to acquire something if it is already set out to want it. It is almost futile to tell it otherwise. In this situation, it is useful to know why it is so hard to say no.

Passion is strong. Is overwhelming. Is everything that is right in this world. Passion is the nitrous oxide of human will. The turbo charger when ordinary acceleration is not enough. But just like a male orgasm, it lasts only for a few seconds and requires long refraction time. (yup, you won’t be forgetting this analogy in a while). So when passion climaxes, you need love, you need a little bit of discipline, you need ordinary petrol to keep going.

In my years of work in advertising, I have had the opportunity to interview many an eager beaver candidate. When asked why they chose to enter this industry, all would tell you it was because of “passion”. Mmmmm…. passion is it? I smile and think to myself, these wide eyed fresh grads – what do they know about advertising? I have been married to the job long enough to know how big, cold and fat it is at the bottom of the ice berg.

Passion is the angry rebel against sensibility. If you are overwhelmed with passion, then you are not being sensible. And if you’re not being sensible, then how could you be recommended for employment?

Same for relationships. I mean, getting together is fine… but doing things like buying houses, getting married? Risky business if you ask me. I know, i know… The Prime Minister wants babies, but I’m sure he also does not want the social problems that could tag along with unprepared families. That’s why i’m not a big fan of the “cannot buy flat until you’re married” policy of the HDB. And few girls would want to marry too young a guy, preferring someone late in their 20s at least (or 30s as in my previous article).

Funny if you think about it, we can trust 18 year old boys with rifles, grenades, multimillion dollar aircraft and military hardware to defend the lives of millions. But ladies just won’t take their chances when it comes to the defence of her heart. Interesting perspective on responsibility to ponder about.

Passion does exist. Passion is important. Passion is also a fruit – fast to eat, and it leaves seeds to grow again. And until these seeds regenerate, you need discipline and devoted yearning to water, nurture and eagerly watch them sprout and bear new fruit once again.


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